Men who wears ear rings

A man meets his friend and noticed he has started wearing ear rings.

He asks, "Since when did you start wearing ear rings?"

Answer: Ever since my wife found them in my car!

Sneak Preview: Samsung Galaxy Note 8

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Samsung Galaxy Note 7

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A Gay Cock and Office Politics

A farmer owns 25 young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old & should be retired.

Old cock: Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock: No!! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition & if I win you shall allow me to have one hen & if I lose you will have all.

Young cock: OKKK.. What kind of competition?

Old cock: 50 meters run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.

Young cock: No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

In the morning the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off & when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.

Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock's back in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly..."BANG"!!!

Before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer ... who cursed, : "Hell" This is the 5th GAY cock I've bought this week."

Moral of the story: don’t mess around with senior staff in office politics!!

Ordering Coffee by Mistake

A junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake and said: "Hey, send a coffee to my cabin in 2 mins"

Boss: Do you know who you are talking to?

Junior: No!

Boss: I'm the Boss

Junior (in same tone): Do you know who you are talking to?

Boss: No!

Junior: THANK GOD (and disconnected)

Spouse Control

In Heaven God told all husbands and wives to gather for a meeting!

He told the men to stand in two queues: those who are controlled by their wives and those who control their wives.

Only one man stood in the second queue.

God asked "So you control your wife?"

Man: "No sir, my wife told me to stand here."

Love Philosophy

When you are in love, wonders happen.
But once you get married,  you wonder: what happened?

At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD. But somehow the letters will get reversed later.

Secret formula for married couples: "Love One Another". If it doesn't work, switch the last two words of the formula.

Fun Economics

Wife to her Accountant husband: what is inflation?
Husband: Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are  48-40-48. Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.

Wife: What is recession?
Husband: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife"

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Funeral van Driver

A taxi passenger tapped his driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Square Testicles

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Scotland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'.

The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.'

'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall.

He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Scotland !'

Police and Me

Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do you parents live?
Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neightbour's house.

Police: Where is your neighbour's house?
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.

Police: Tell me!
Me: Next to my house.