Too Much Flesh Showing

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Three Quick Jokes

1) A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day, their driver died of poisoning.

2) A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked Dad why? He answered so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.

3) A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said,"Sir, you are my witness. You know I never wear panties."

French Happiness

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour.

At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame de Gaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison? Wat are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"

"Hard penis! Just hard penis!" replied Madame de Gaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...... and no one knew what to say next.

Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said: "Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, "Happiness!'"

Friends are Like Panties

Friends are like panties...

Some crawl up your butt.

Some snap under pressure.

Some don't have the strength to hold you up.

Some get a little twisted.

Some are your favorite.

Some are holy.

Some are cheap.

Some are naughty.

And some actually cover your butt when you need them to.

Thanks for reading, my Panties Friend!


Your Eyes, Arughh...

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane.

The lady said to him, "Can you help me remove something from my breast, please?"

The exciting young man replied, "Wow! It will be my pleasure...so what is it?"

"Your eyes, idiot!"