The Shredder

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Office Memos

office memos









When Animals Smoke

Four animals a Snake, a Cock, a Cat and a Centipede, all heavy smokers, were playing cards together. When the cigarettes run out, the snake, the big brother, said, "Cock, go out and get some packs! You know, I have NO legs." 

"But why me?" said the Cock, "I have only TWO legs!" So, the task fell on Centipede with no doubt. Centipede said nothing and left the room.

The left three waited and waited, but Centipede did not show up. One hour later, they couldn't wait anymore. "What's the devil Centipede doing?" Snake said impatiently, "Cat, go out and take a look!"

When Cat gets to the door, he got frightened. Centipede was SITTING there!!!! So the angry Cat said, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't you see? I'm putting on my shoes,” said Centipede.

Keeping the Mouth Shut

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ...

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished,and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

No Rain? Here's Why...

Ever wondered why there is more rain in Latin America than the Middle East countries? Here's why:









Crossing over to the Middle East....



Last, but not least...

Now you know!!

Interesting Job

No matter what your job is, it's up to you to make it interesting...

interesting job

A Blonde and Crabs

A lawyer boarded a Jetstar flight in Perth, with a box of frozen crabs and asked the blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. 

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
 
Shortly before landing in Sydney, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Perth, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ..... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.