Guess the Nationality



Sexy mouthwatering butt....

Who has such a firm bottom?

Scroll down for answer...



















It's just a Polish sausage! What were you thinking of!?

Why Women Always Win?

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.


As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'

The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Why are Fat People Difficult to Kidnap?

A grand salute to the fat people of the world!

20 Lessons in Logic

Lesson 1:
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

Lesson 2:
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Lesson 3:
Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect..... So why practice?

Lesson 4:
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Lesson 5:
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Lesson 6:
How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?

Lesson 7:
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.

Lesson 8:
One should love animals. They are so tasty.

Lesson 9:
Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Lesson 10:
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Lesson 11:
The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.

Lesson 12:
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

Lesson 13:
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Lesson 14:
'Your future depends on your dreams' So go to sleep.

Lesson 15:
There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning.

Lesson 16:
'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk?

Lesson 17:
'Work fascinates me' I can look at it for hours.

Lesson 18:
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

Lesson 19:
The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So.. why learn?

Lesson 20:
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say?

Oops - Traffic Woes

traffic overcrowding

Men in Training

Proven! Men are early learners...

PC Training

Pinching Nipples

Looking at Private Parts

Try Kissing

Reaching for Beer

Peeing at Tyre

French Kiss

Reading Playboy

Pee on Wall

Cute Ball Video

Trust the Japanese to come up with this novelty. They must have spent countless hour perfecting the apparatus.

Only in Vietnam!


You didn't wash your underwear, did you?


Carriage for two?


Circus Training.


Hitchhikers.


Delivering hot dogs


Delivering hot food


Don't crash into the truck!


Honey, did you call me last night?


Moving house.


Look ma, no helmet.


Off to school.


Ox ride.


It's a pigs life.


My pimped-out Toyota.


Vietnamese public transport.


A ride home.


Single engine ox ride.


Star wars Master Yoda.


A fine balancing act.


A veggie ride home.

De-stressing Comics



















Quote of the Day

"The global financial crisis has hit Japan: Origami Bank has folded; 500 employees at Karate Bank got the chop; and analysts say something fishy is going on at Sushi Bank." - Anonymous

Haha...

Five Minute Management Lessons

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologised 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!