Everyday Maths

1) ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:
Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

2) OFFICE ARITHMETIC:
Smart boss + smart employee = profit


Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

3) SHOPPING MATH:
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs
.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

4) GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

5) HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love
him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

6) LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to
die.

7) PROPENSITY TO CHANGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

8) DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE:
A woman has the last word in any argument.


Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

9) HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Oldaunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs andcackling, telling
me, 'You're next.'

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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